things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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