Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
