..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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