I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize