what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
