wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
