Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
