I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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