I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
