Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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