Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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