This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize