i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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