Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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