There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
