I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
