kristin has been a bad kristin
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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