I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
