We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
