in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
