i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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