Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

this is your brother

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(410): View more from Maryland

she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

Hippo gnu deer

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(647): View more from Ontario

It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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(843): View more from South Carolina

MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.

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(909): View more from California

Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?

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