it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
