You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Hippo gnu deer
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?