And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
