is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she told me i tasted like america
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize