i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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