Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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