when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize