I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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