But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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