The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
