Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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