Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
