DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
as a side note pls kill me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
