he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
