just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
