what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
