i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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