my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
