happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
