i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
