what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
