OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
