I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize