I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
