it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
