pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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