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• (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (310): View more from California

  She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.

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