i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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