Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??