I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath