I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
