At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
