He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
nutella sex= disaster
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
