if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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