we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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