It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm like, not good at living.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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