Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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