Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
