Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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