the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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