Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
