why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize