She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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