i permit you to call me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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