well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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