Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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