That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
