I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
