He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
